How did we get here
- Bri
- Oct 24, 2024
- 3 min read
For the past year, I’ve been wading through deep and, at times, all consuming grief for my beloved border collie, Eure (E). I still can’t think or talk about her without losing myself to the well of sadness I still hold within me. Someday, I know I will be able to write a fitting tribute to E. Today is not that day.
Although I knew I would fall apart when Eure left this world, the experience of continuing to live through grief without her was not something I was prepared for. I had an expectation that I would carry this weight, it would slowly dissipate, and I would returne to “life”. Although I questioned how the experience could change me, I didn’t expect to actually 'be' changed. In allowing grief to follow its path, I felt othered from my community and quickly realized that the spaces I’d utilized to share my life for years were not compatible with a full range of emotion. Slowly, a social app that I’ve enjoyed for nearly a decade, appeared to be nothing more than a bunch of people marketing themselves, rather than seeking connection.
[Before I go any further, I need to be clear that this shift was in my own perception as well as the content displayed by an algorithm, I do not believe this was a change in the intention of the individuals I follow. There is a podcast linked below that contains some discussion on a vocal minority shifting our views in media. It's a solid listen and helped me find words to the experience I was having on this social app.]
Every post I read appeared to scream “Look at me! Look at me!”; not, “Look how beautiful this world and humanity is. Look at how beautiful simply being alive can be.” From my lens though, posts felt overproduced, images were reduced to grainy garbage, everything appeared to be designed to steal your attention and degrade your focus. Even the stories that I love reading from others had been character-limited to encourage punchie cliches. Although this was a slow evolution of our socials, it took a catastrophic life event for me to awaken to how this did not serve me or my chosen community.
This website was born to hold BIG, beautiful images and long essays. I’m making space for the forum of media that allows us to sink into thought and get lost in the detail of an image. I want attention to be hold, rather than jump, and thought to be gently provoked, rather than sharply ‘engaged’. Honestly? I also just really loved the era of blogs and want to return to their simplicity.
In order to backfill some of the foundational elements of my story, I did kick this blog off with the heavy hitters: leaving my engineering career, attending art school, thru hiking the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT), and my recent ultra marathon race. That said, I plan to include everyday stories and thoughts - a lens into my current explorations as a fairly average human.
So, if you’ve found this site, welcome! I’m glad you’re here and I am wondering what aspects of your own life you may be questioning. Where do you feel a disconnect and tension? When you look back at the evolution of social media, what communication forum resonated most deeply with you?
This decision was made as I processed insight from multiple resources and those that stand out to me as catalysts are linked below:
Nic Antionette - An introspective writer who inspires me to ask questions
Sonja Saxe's Website - Big, beautiful images of rad adventures that are casually told
How to stop doom scrolling — and have a better experience online with Jay Van Bavel on Re: Thinking with Adam Grant - There is a discussion in this podcast about the vocal minority as well as discussion on cynicism vs skepticism that caught my attention
Rich Roll's podcast episode with Chase Jarvis - This reminded me of why I fell in love with photography in the first place
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